Lost in Danworld™

A few days ago, my eleven year old daughter turned to me at the breakfast table and said, ‘You’re here, Daddy, but it’s like you’re not.’

Wow. That’s a serious shot of guilt, isn’t it? It’s not a scattergun blast of shame, but a direct, pint-point rail-gun shot of guilt straight at the heart.

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My seven year old son followed it up with the double-tap that only a child can do properly. You know the one. The slightly raised eyebrows, the narrowing of the eyes, the tilt of the head and the sarcastic, ‘Yeah.’

 

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So, now I not only have a mountain to climb in terms of editing this book, but I also have the added feel-bad factor of my children glaring at me when they ask me a question and I stare vacantly and say . . .

‘Wuh? Duh?’

You see; I am on an editing mission. I am deep in the foreboding jungle of next year’s book and I just can’t escape the trees.

I am lost in Danworld™.

The story is written – it’s there on the screen – but it just isn’t quite what I want it to be. It doesn’t Amazon riverhave that . . . that thing I want it to have. That feel.  So I need to fix it and I am obsessing. My wife tells me this is something I do with every book, but it always feels as if it’s the first time and I just can’t get this story out of my head. It’s there  from the moment I wake to the moment I fall asleep, and even then it’s  in my dreams.

All. The. Time.

I can’t concentrate on anything else.

I want to be able to gather it all up in my mind and spit it back out, fixed and gleaming and perfect. But I can’t do that. Instead, I can only remind myself of Samuel Johnson’s words and keep chipping away, one chapter at a time, one page, one sentence, one word. And when I am finished, it still won’t be what I want it to be. It won’t quite capture the mood I want to convey, or the complexity of the characters as I see them in my head, or the tension and turmoil of the plot, but it will be closer. Much closer. I will make it out of here. I really will. And when I emerge, I will be clutching a book that is ready to be seen. But, for now, I am in lost Danworld™.

I may be some time.

 

 

Oh, and Samuel Johnson’s words?

 

 

‘What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure.’

 

 

That’s all.

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2 thoughts on “Lost in Danworld™

  1. Aw, you are sweet! The guilt needs to be measured against the pride your children feel, and will feel in years to come (when they see the bigger picture) when they see what their dad achieved and how hard he worked to achieve it. Go make that story better. You know you can!

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