Fake Blood and Rotting Animal Guts!

Halloween, eh? I remember when halloween was just the 31st October. Just another day. You know, it was all fields round here back then. Now, though, it’s all ‘trick or treat’ this and ‘scary costumes’ that and before we know it Marks and Spencer isn’t selling ‘cheesey puffs’ any more, they’re selling ‘witches toes’. And jam donuts are filled with ‘vampire blood’ instead of plain ole jam, and the supermarket has a whole aisle dedicated to all things Halloweeny. There’s a wholsale taming of all things scary.

They’ll be doing Happy Halloween cards next.

Still, it’s all good fun really. I mean, we can send the children out to knock on people’s doors and beg for sweets – and then eat them ourselves. And we can scare them and not feel bad about it. We get to carve pumpkins – though why anyone would want to eat what comes out of one is a mystery to me. That’s a halloween fright right there – the stringy, stinky guts of a pumkin.

What else? Oh yeah, we get to watch horror films, although I always get a little nostalgic when it comes to horror films. They just don’t make them like they used to.

These modern upstarts just don’t have the gritty, vicious charm of the films of the late 70s and 80s. Back then it all seemed new and forbidden. Even the Prime Minister told us we couldn’t watch them. Remember Margaret Thatcher and the scandalous ‘video nasties’ that sullied the minds of the young?

So why not treat yourself to a bit of garish, old-school horror tonight? Why not slip one of these rancid gems into the Blu-Ray tonight? Or, better yet, drag out the old VHS, play with the ‘tracking’ and watch one on a scratchy tape:-

The Evil Dead, Dawn of The Dead, Zombie Flesheaters, Re-Animator, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Friday 13th, Suspiria, The Beyond, Hellraiser, Demons . . . I could go on.

You won’t be disappointed by the cheesey 80’s acting (mustachioed men, anyone?), the over the top gore and the fantasticly non CGI effects. It was all prosthetic skin, fake blood, and rotting animal guts back then, you know.

Hmm, I wonder if I can persuade my wife to watch Evil Dead with me tonight. Oh, there I go getting all dewy-eyed again.

That’s all.


4 thoughts on “Fake Blood and Rotting Animal Guts!

  1. I know what you mean about those 80s films. I was too young to be allowed to watch them at the time (although a babysitter once let me watch the first half of Children of the Corn, which scared the life out of me!) but they possess a certain… something that a lot of the slick, CGI-heavy horror films today don’t seem to have.

    That’s probably why I have a thing for 80s films in general, actually. But I won’t start going on about my Ferris Bueller obsession here…

    Happy Halloween!

    • Well, I was a bit young in the early 80s too, but I caught up as soon as I could. By then, a lot of the ‘mythical’ ones with lurid titles had been banned. We used to talk about them at school in hushed tones. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The Evil Dead. Driller Killer. Cannibal Ferox! Videodrome. Shivers. I then met a guy who knew a guy who’s brother’s cousin knew a bloke who’s sister’s mate’s husband used to work in a video shop and could get hold of copies of copies, so I got to watch them on scratchy VHS. Some were bad, some were brilliant. Of course, you can get them all on blu-ray now, but somehow the format doesn’t suit many of them. It cheapens the effects and makes them feel less . . . forbidden.

      For me, a lot of the modern horror films just don’t hit the right mark. I reckon the best in recent years has been 28 Days Later.

      Maybe I should dig out that copy of The Thing in anticipation of the upcoming prequel.

  2. Ha ha, yes, you have a lot to answer for Mr Smith, inducting me into the world of the then-‘illegal’ videos from you brother’s mate’s sister’s friend’s dog’s owner. With cans of beer and lights off in a darkened room in the twilight of the North, we’d watch what now seems to be such an OTT camped-up production, but at the time it scared the bejesus out of me.

    You’re right though — horror hasn’t been the same for a long time.

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