1. Everywhere in the world is within 15 mins drive/flight of CTU Headquarters.
2. The best analysts always have personal issues which they can’t talk about.
3.Jack Bauer is indestructible. Stabbing him, shooting him or electrocuting him just makes him speak above a whisper and he will allow you to continue until he’s ready to fight back. Then he will knock you out with one punch.
4.CTU Human Resouces Dept will never check your background before employing you.
5.Whenever something important is going to happen, it will always be ‘within the hour’.
6.Ten terrorists with automatic weapons are no match for one man with a pistol.
7.Jack’s sack contains everything he will ever need.
8.Any electronic device can be attached to any computer and will work straight away. No need for installation.
9.Phone calls can always be ‘patched through’ to another line within seconds. From anywhere in the world.
10.Torture works on terrorists, but never on Jack Bauer.
11.Everybody is lying about something.
12.The president never sleeps and is always available to talk to Jack Bauer.
13.All CTU agents are incompetent and never listen to reason. Except for Jack Bauer, who is always right.
14.Without Jack Bauer, The United States would be an uninhbitable wasteland of irradiated ash.
15.If you’re a friend of Jack Bauer, prepare to be kidnapped.
16.Jack Bauer can last 24 hours without food, drink or the toilet.
17. Trust NO-ONE.
18.Terrorist’s bullets cannot penetrate tables.
19.The president of the United States hands out immunity deals as if they were sweets.
20.Do not accept a job as head of CTU – you will die a violent and horrible death.
21.CTU employees can go AWOL for hours without anyone asking questions. Unless they are Jack Bauer.
22.Complex terrorist plots can be thwarted by one man in exactly 24 hours.
23.Jack Bauer can ‘become’ a German businessman simply by wearing geeky glasses.
24.When Jack Bauer is working, at least one person will die every hour.
Long live Jack.