How to kill Jack Bauer …

Don’t be ridiculous, you can’t kill Jack Bauer. Killing him doesn’t make him dead, it just makes him angry.

Actually, I’m a fan of 24 but it does stretch the boundaries a bit, dontcha think? Fiction has to operate within the laws of its own universe – Star Wars has to abide by its own rules, just as Twilight or Aliens or Zombieland does – but 24 seems to have slipped over the line this series. Or maybe I just never noticed it before.

Come and have a go if you think your'e hard enough

In one of the early episodes of this season, Jack was taken into a basement by two policemen and one of them beat him, repeatedly, about the face. I know that, for the sake of drama and excitement, we have to see Jack suffer from time to time and we have to see him escape but … not a scratch? We see him minutes later as if he’s just stepped out of make-up.

And the electrocution? Surely there would have been some lasting damage.

But it’s Renee’s knife that really clinches it. She stuck it right in him, up to the hilt, so what does he do? He pulls it out, uses it to kill a bad guy, and then … ta-dah … he’s fine. No further mention of it except for when Renee asks him, over the phone, if he’s OK.

‘Yeah,’ he says with a whisper, giving us that little shift of the eyes followed by a look down and off to one side. ‘I’m fine. But are you up to this?’

Chuck Norris and Steven Segal can only dream of being this hard. He’s like Captain Scarlet. He’s superhuman (perhaps Superman wears Jack Bauer pyjamas). Oh, and he doesn’t need to rest; he gets all the rest he needs when he’s hanging around waiting to be tortured – or when he’s temporarily dead.

Long live Jack.

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