Pity the Critter

Okay, so I don’t watch a lot of reality TV – or do I? There seems to be so much of it on. Anyway, I watched X-Factor on saturday and wasn’t over excited by it. Not sure I get it, really. A few karaoke performances of Queen songs, received with rapturous applause, and, oh yes, the now famous bouncing twins, Jedward.

And now we’re in for a jungle treat for the next few weeks, so take a moment to remember the poor ‘roaches, spiders, snakes and other assorted forest critters that are going to have to spend time with Jordan/Katie Price, as they surely will. She’s going to end up doing a lot of challenges isn’t she? (Hey, maybe the losers of X-Factor should be made to perform similar trials. Jedward eating kangaroo parts, anyone?)


I know, creepy isn't it?


In the year between each series, the Australian bug wranglers must be collecting and breeding those creepy-crawlies like mad in order to gather enough for three week’s worth of trials. And I wonder where they keep them all? Is there a storage centre of insects waiting nervously for their call to camera? And are they adequately trained and equipped not to be upset by the life-forms they’re going to have to suffer? Being trapped in a perspex box, under water, with Kim must have been quite an ordeal for those poor critters. Imagine if it had been you trapped in there. Hm. Quite. So pity the wichita grubs, the mealworms, the locusts, and spare a thought for the unfortunate kangaroo who is going to donate his parts in the name of entertainment.

The thing that frightens me most, however, is this: How is Katie going to write any more books while she’s away?

Dan Smith’s Official Website


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